In one of my last literary posts, I believe I mentioned recently finishing Stephen King's new collection of novellas, Full Dark, No Stars, in which the last story, "Good Marriage," got me to thinking about D/s relationships and how those of us who are curious about this sort of lifestyle, are involved in this sort of lifestyle, or are merely beginning our journey within such a lifestyle, are treated by Hollyweird and the popular cultural industry it pushes so hard to ever-consuming dolts.
Many of you may disagree with this post. That's perfectly all right. We're all adults here, with thoughts and feelings and emotions, and some people will dislike what I have to say. Perfectly all right.
After reading "Good Marriage," I was upset. I was upset because the main male character in the story had been reading bondage porn, and seemed to attempt to present himself as a dominant male. What he considered dominance--in the likes of kidnapping, torturing, raping, and killing his murder victims--was actual weakness on his part. He was weak because he felt snubbed by these women he was flirting with, so he thought he would show these "snoots" as he referred to them what a Real Man was like, what a Real Man could do, and how a Real Man could punish them for even daring to deny him what he saw as rightfully his. He also blamed much of his criminal activity on a young man who had died when he was young, and who he believed had "possessed" his mind. And until she discovered the magazines of bondage pornography in her garage while looking for batteries for the television remote, his wife was completely unwise to the fact that her husband really was "BD", or "Beadie", the serial killer who had been taunting police for decades in their small New England town.
When Dennis Rader, the BTK Strangler, was finally arrested for his heinous crime spree in Kansas, the judge immediately granted his wife Paula a divorce, with no waiting period. Mrs. Rader stated that she never knew her husband Dennis was BTK, and this disturbed her even more. People vilified her and called her a liar, and the media attempted surreptitiously to drag her through the mud. All to no avail.
Much like the character in "Good Marriage," her husband was quiet. Very quiet. No glass-heading, no bragging, no speaking of the conquests he could have held over his wife. To the outside world, he was the perfect husband. Paula Rader never knew because she never even considered asking. There was no need. He never let on about his extra-curricular activities outside the marriage, the scout troop, or the church.
I occasionally read another blog in regard to female dominance and D/s relationships, Femdom101. The author there has an interesting view on pornography, and I completely agree with her.
Porn promotes violence. It promotes violence and disrespect against women, and it's even disrespectful of the men who engage in its viewing, because Hollyweird thinks they are too stupid to know better, too shy to pursue a good relationship--sexual or otherwise--with women (or even men), and too lazy to even care about the difference between real, loving relations and just plain sex. Out of all this, I think snuff films are probably the worst--fuck her then kill her. Rape and kill her. Force her to blow you then blow her head off. Delightful stuff. Thanks, Hollyweird.
I hate pornography. I always have. It has always made me, personally, feel violated and nauseated. It has ruined a couple of relationships and began the end of my former marriage. I also think that Hollyweird is trying to do this with our beloved BDSM and D/s. Don't let them, please. I feel I have finally connected with a community of intelligent, caring, spiritual-seeking people. Please don't let some Hollyweird executive take it away from us in the name of making a buck through a fuck.
Just like everything else in Life, Education and Knowledge hold the keys. . .