Wednesday, June 22, 2011

List of Demands, Part II

This post may be difficult to follow.  There has been a bit of a kerfluffle online in regard to submissives not being appreciated, being seen as "a dime a dozen," via a post here (original) and the responses here and here.  And yes, over at the submissivemale blog, I got into a bit of a wrangle with an anonymous poster, who also requested some help finding dominant women.  This post hopes to address that issue as well.

First off, let me just say. . . . I appreciate my submissive.  I will not give his name because he has asked me not to.  I appreciate his honesty, his sweet nature, his fine manners, and his hard work.  When he gets out of line, he is punished accordingly, and he doesn't mess up often.  His 2 most attractive traits--his INTELLIGENCE, and his WILLINGNESS TO SERVE.  Let me write those again, in bold and italicized print, so that any subs out there who still don't get it will see what, at least to this Dominant Female, are two desirable traits:  INTELLIGENCE, A WILLINGNESS TO SERVE ME.  Got it?  I don't think you do.  INTELLIGENCE.  A WILLINGNESS TO SERVE ME.  There.  

My sub sometimes frets that he's put on a tad bit of weight.  I say, more meat for me to lovingly nibble, smack, and play with.  A healthy boyo is a good playmate.  

My sub is also a talented musician who has played in several rockabilly and psychobilly bands.  He combs the internet almost as often as I do in search of good reading materials, whether they deal with D/s or BDSM or not.  Sometimes it's nice to simply read a good story before bed.  

My sub has always been good to his mother, which is why he is also so good to me.  He also loves animals and is kind to the elderly and children.  He is a kind and considerate person who helps people when and as they need it.  

I met my sub on a social networking site that is dedicate to rockabilly and psychobilly music.  I was feeling lonely one night and decided to go over to that site and see if anyone was online, and he and I talked for nearly an hour.  We kept chatting, writing, and talking with each other, until things grew into what they are now.  Of all the men I've dated and have met, including some of the ones I've met online, he is probably the absolute nicest one.  He's not just nice. . . . he's also considerate, polite, and intelligent.  I don't care that he has a tummy.  I care that he wants to serve me.  I don't care that he is extremely nervous and upset sometimes when he is in a crowd.  I care that he wants to serve me.  He serves me well.  He is an excellent sub, and I think other subs could learn a few things from him.

Now--in regard to this skewed sub-to-Dom/Domme ratio. . . submissives, you might want to consider getting over the whole looks thing.  If looks are your most important trait or if you think you should be with someone who looks like a male or female model or obnoxiously pretty pop star (C. Aguilera, K. Perry, the boys of Duran Duran back in their heyday), maybe you're being a bit too picky.  If you want someone who is cold and unfeeling, there are tons of those out there, even in the vanilla world.  I've dated a few myself.  Dommes can't uphold the whole "bitch ice queen" facade forever.  We're human, too.  We have feelings, too.  For those of you who are "playing" sub or who try to ever-so-subtly Top from the bottom--first off, you're not that subtle (no one is) and if you want to switch, that's fine, but some of us aren't into switching.  And some of you--and you know who you are--seem to think it's all about your needs, and that by fulfilling your needs, you are fulfilling your Domme's needs. .. . uh, no.  If the Domme wants you to serve her needs, then serve them.  That's what makes you a good sub.  Serving Her needs.  If you're a female sub, that's what you do.  You serve the Master.  Master/Mistress is happy, you're happy too.  

I'll be following this up with another post, I just need to do some research first, Readers.  Please bear with. . .    

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